Call Me Old Fashioned

Had the weirdest most bizarre dream this morning…but as odd as it was, it spoke to me a whole lot that I got up almost immediately cause I felt that I just had to write it down. In case I forgot. Cause that’s what normally happens to the dreams you dream at night…you forget them.

But anyway, the setting of the whole dream was an intergalactic war sort of thing, where we were divided up into army groups…imagine the year 2950…and I was one of the troop leaders.

My team was doing well, and there were a few people we met along the way whom were in danger and needed training, cause our enemy was attacking even more furiously, full on having a go at us. If we don’t train them to fight they won’t last long in the battlefield. So we picked them up and basically kind of saved their lives.

But then during our break, I overheard these new people, talking about me in the break room. They went on about how they saw me as someone who was doing all that, for my own sake, so that I’d look like a hero. They said that I was training so many people so that I’d have the biggest group and win the battle and receive a medal of recognition from authorities or something. They talked about a lot of things, and even mentioned about how they were only using me to be safe for the time being.

At that moment, my dream felt so real. I felt outraged. Hurt. Betrayed. Used. Belittled. Disappointed. I felt angry. And I felt like I just had to prove them wrong. I just had to prove myself. That I wasn’t any of those things they had been talking about.

That very second, I made the decision to get even with them. To announce later on, before we get into the battlefield again, that I won’t accept these new people into my group. That they should go and fend off for themselves.

But right then, He spoke to me.

If you are going to do that then you are proving them right. If you are getting even with them by sending them away and not wanting to help them, then you are, as a matter of fact, doing this for your sake, for you to be acknowledged and for them to owe you gratitude. But if you’re helping them just because you want them to be saved, then help them, even if they say that about you. Even if they hurt you. Even if they are only using you. It doesn’t matter what they say. What matters is what I see.

Wow.

I never thought that such a weird dream could ever mean anything to me. Cause right then I knew that this wasn’t just some dream that I was meant to forget when I woke up. This was a dream that I had yet needed to achieve.

In whatever I do, I need to continuously guard my heart. Guard it so much so that I would let God search it, and know me so well that I have nothing else to hide. No hidden agendas. No ulterior motives.

To learn to be selfless in all areas of my life. Learn to not seek equality of treatment, but to treat others with utter most respect that I do not make them as an ends of my use, and instead, love genuinely.

Even if people criticise you for what you are doing, if what they are saying is not true, keep going at it, because if you let what they say get in the way of you doing good, then you’re not doing good for the sake of His Name, but for the sake of your name.

It’s not the easiest thing to do, but in the dream, I took them in and trained them and they finally came to their senses and saw for themselves that my motive was not for myself, but to help them through salvation.

Cause salvation is of the most importance. And in this galaxy, all that matters is for you to reveal God’s glory in all that you do. Doesn’t matter how others see it. Cause it doesn’t matter what people say. What matters is what God sees. And He sees everything.

Growing up in Sunday School, I’ve always hated that man in the Bible by the name Barabbas. I hated him so much because he was the reason Jesus was crucified. He was supposed to be crucified that day, yet the Jews insisted that Jesus take his place.

I’ve known Jesus all my life, but last Monday, He showed me a whole new love.

I was at Prayer Meeting at Milsons Point, and that night, I wasn’t really feeling like it. Cause there was someone who had been irritating me and been placing massive skepticism in my heart cause I really didn’t like the way the person was behaving. I was so annoyed at the person, that at the start of prayer, I prayed to God complaining about her behaviour and just asking God to smack her and make her come to her senses.

But instead, God smacked me.

That night, He reminded me the story of Barabbas, and I was again reminded about my hatred towards him.

But that night, He told me,you’re Barabbas.

I was in denial, saying, no God, I would never do anything to harm You. I want to do everything for Your glory. Barabbas is not me.

But then He asked me in my heart, what is Barabbas guilty of?

Murder, I said. Exactly. 

Then He reminded me of the sixth commandment: do not murder (Exodus 20:13). And that moment, I thought He was being ridiculous. I would never kill anyone. I would never ever do that. But then again, He brought up another verse in my heart: 1 John 3:15.

“Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.” (1 John 3:15, NIV)

You are committing murder in your heart. You are Barabbas.

Oh my gosh. At this point, I’ve fallen on my knees. I was crying my eyes out. Because I knew He was right. I am Barabbas. All this time, I’ve hated him, but here I am, doing exactly what he is doing. And letting Christ die for me all over again.

Imagine that. How guilty I felt. And I’d begun apologising at the time. I just couldn’t stop apologising because I knew I was wrong. I knew I was guilty for something far greater than I thought I would. But there He was, taking my place at the cross and He set me free from eternal condemnation. The way He took the place of Barabbas, the murderer.

But that did not mean that Barabbas was to go out into the community, murdering once again. That didn’t mean that Barabbas was free to murder all over again. Because if he did, he would end up in prison all over again and would have to face his crucifixion someday.

And right then God said that the same thing applied to me.

Now that He took my place, it didn’t mean that I was free to go back into my community, hating people once again. He had taken my place for doing so, and I should not go back to being my old self, hating her and imprisoning myself once again.

No. Now that I have been set free from the chains of hatred, I should go out and repent. I should go out and start loving. Show His unmeasurable, unconditional, selfless love, to those whom are unlovable to me. Because that is what Jesus would have done if He hadn’t taken my place at the cross.

Sure, I am undeserving, but that should never stop me from serving.

To be honest, I can’t believe I’ve gone this far. I can’t believe that I’ve been living on $2 a day and I’m still sane and alive…I thought that my cravings would get the best of me (LOL).

Anyway, I went to Hillsong College last night and before I even entered the building, I could smell the sweet scent of cinnamon filling up the air. Cinnamon just has this sharp distinct smell that seems to diffuse so quickly in the air. Especially with the wind blowing in my face…the aroma went right up my nostrils.

I thought it came from the cafe across the Hillsong City Campus, but when I was heading to class…turns out that they were selling crazy-good, “so-scrumptious-that-I-can-devour-them-in-a-gobble”-looking, sticky, sugar-glazed cinnamon buns.

Oh dear, I thought.

I love cinnamon buns. They’re soft and gooey and sweet and sticky and…they’re fat. But that’s what makes them delicious.

Gulping, I walked past it, trying not to inhale, best as I can, so as to not tempt myself.

When it was supper time at college I didn’t even head upstairs where they provided food and beverages cause I was afraid I’d give into temptation. I stayed in class organising my notes.

Oh, and if you didn’t know yet, the reason why I wasn’t eating was because I was doing the Live Below the Line challenge, where I could only spend $2 a day on food to better understand the 1.3 billion people in the world who are living in poverty. Moreover, I’m also having this corporate fast at youth, and I’ve chosen to fast dinner. Thus…not eating dinner and being hungry because I’ve only had a $2 breakfast and lunch.

Then it made me think of what my friend said to me the other day. He said that he respected me for doing this because by doing this I was actually humbling myself and stepping into the shoes of the 1.3 billion people in this world. He also mentioned that it kind of reminds him of how God humbled Himself to come down to earth.

And wow I never actually saw it that way. But to be honest, what he said resonated in me over and over and over again ever since he said it. Cause to be honest, the last couple of days had been pretty hard on me, especially because I love food. So much. But because of the amount of support I’ve received, I always seemed to find even more strength to go on.

But the thing is, when Jesus came down to earth, He didn’t merely come for 5 days, 10 days, a month or a year. He came and lived as a man would for 33 years.

All the while, He had all the powers in the entire universe and more, yet He voluntarily did not use them for the sake of us. You. Me.

And I have people rooting for me while I’m doing this campaign. Lots of other people are doing it too. So I’m not alone. But He was. He was rejected, wounded, murdered and put to shame at the cross. And He still refused to use His powers to get Himself down from that cross and make every man kneel to worship Him. Cause He does deserve that.

But still, often times we take the cross lightly, as though His unfathomable humility by laying down His crown and trading them for rugged robes was irrelevant. As though His crazy act of love by laying down His life and trading that for the sins of all mankind to be heaped on His shoulders was nothing.

Wow. It just amazes me how He does that. Because what I’m doing is nothing compared to what He has done. Nothing.

He lived and died below the line so that we may live. Above, and exceeding, the line.

So thank You Jesus.

Because You humbled Yourself, I was exalted and deemed righteous. So let me now humble myself, to exalt Thee and give glory to Thy Name.

I know this is probably a bit too late to post…but a ‘series’ will not be complete without the finale. And well, this is it. I haven’t had that much time to write, but I thought that instead of making excuses, I’d finally make time to write instead. So here it is.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, click on this ‘Island Revelation’ series link and you’ll know what I mean.

Anyway. Back with the passage about building our houses upon the Rock (and not sand). Matthew 7:24-27 (click on it to be linked to the Scripture).

Fun fact: the same parable is explained in Luke 6:46-49, as follows:

Build Your House on the Rock

Why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.”

Interestingly, though, unlike the passage in Matthew, the one in Luke begins with, “why do you call Me Lord, Lord and not do what I tell you?”

To be honest, I stumbled across the verse in Luke merely because I was being curious and wanted to try and study the Bible in depth that I actually looked up the cross references written in fine print at the bottom of our Bible pages. But I guess that’s how God works…in funny, random ways, because when I read that, God just smacked me. I was gobsmacked. No, I was Godsmacked. LOL.

Right then, I knew what God was saying to me.

Sure. I like having that sense of security from Him when He becomes my Rock. Knowing that He always has something good in store for me already, that I have nothing to worry about.

Sure. I like being able to depend on Him, being able to go with His current and not having to go against Him. Makes going through things at a breeze. Being able to do things easily because He has opened doors.

And I’ve accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour…but have I actually implemented that in my life?

It says in Romans 10:9 “if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that He is risen from the dead, you will be saved.”

Well, I like the idea of being safe. I like the idea that I have been saved. But when I say that Jesus is Lord, do I actually mean it? When I say that He is Lord over my life, is He really it?

Because saying that He is Lord means that you are saying that He rules over your life.

But as a matter fact, does He? Do we let Him rule over our lives, even in the smallest areas that we think are irrelevant? Sure we say, He knows best, but do we complain when His answer is no? Sure we say, we surrender, but do we still hold on to our own plans when He points in another direction? Sure we say, we trust in Him unwaveringly, but do we still doubt and take matters into our own hands when we don’t see His plans come to being?

Saying, God, I accept You as my Lord and Saviour is more than merely accepting His salvation. It’s accepting the fact that He now has control.

And it’s actually better that He does, because He is our Creator, and He knows His creations best. He has the best plans in store for us already. Has the most perfect set of blueprints set out for us to build our houses as. The biggest, grandest, most magnificent house, that, He has already planned out, mapped out, in detail, of how we are to build it.

But what we do at times is, sure, we build our houses on a solid rock. But then we draw our own set of blueprints and slap it right on top of His, asking Him to build our house that way. We go finding our own ideas. We think of our own ways of building the best house possible, of building that dream house of ours.

But then when it turns out to be not like what we expected it to be, we look up and blame God. We ask Him, why God? We say, what is it that we have done to deserve such a thing? We complain. We mutter. We grumble. We question God. When as a matter of fact, we are to blame.

No. Actually, when I do say, Lord, Lord, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter unless He is my Lord. And unless I mean it when I say that He is my Lord. None of that matters. Because now He is my Lord. He rules over my life. He now has control. It is no longer I, but Christ, who lives in me.

We’ve all heard the verse from James 2:17 which says, “faith without action is dead.” and it’s true because even if God has given us the ability, strength, and time to do a certain thing, it doesn’t mean we need not do anything about it. Because even if we had all the power in the world and never use it, we wouldn’t know what we’re even capable of.

Referring back to Matthew 7, where it talks about building a house upon a rock, it does say, build. And building is doing something.

The thing is, people tend to build without knowing where they are building. People tend to build a house so enthusiastically without realising that they have been building on sand, until everything collapses.

It says to build a house upon the rock. Not sand. Rock.

I would assume all of us would know the story of Abraham (if you don’t you can read it here in Genesis 15-21). And we know that God promised to make Abraham into a great nation, but Abraham said to God, “because You didn’t give me a child, anyone born in my house shall be my heir.” But instead, God said, “you are going to have your own child and he’s going to be your heir.”

So you see that God gave Abraham a dream here. But the thing is, Sarah was barren. And amazingly Abraham continued believing in God. But then they got older, and Sarah was past her child bearing age.

What? Was God joking when He told Abraham that? Isn’t that just ridiculous? Sure she was barren, but now her womb had been shut. It would seem impossible to have a child now.

But then, Abraham still believed that God was going to give him a child. And he decided to make it happen. By taking Sarah’s maid, Hagar, as his wife so that he may obtain children through her. Fair enough. 

But that was not what God had in mind for Abraham.

God wouldn’t contradict Himself and ask Abraham to be unfaithful to his wife. No. When God promised Abraham that, He knew what they had and what they lacked. And God is Jehovah Jireh, a God of Provision, His plan was to provide for them what they lacked. Instead, Abraham and Sarah took matters into their own hands. They obtained a child through their own assumption.

They knew that God would give Abraham a child. They did believe in Him. But they presumed that taking another wife was the solution. They came up with their own ways.

And at times, this is what we do. We go on in life holding onto God’s promises so much, that we focus too much on it. We focus too much on it that we would take any sort of direction to get to that destination.

We say we want to take initiative and be proactive. And we take action. But we take action in the wrong direction because instead of focusing on God, we focus getting to where His promises seem to be.

No. No matter what, our focus should be God. Because what’s even greater than His promises is He, the Great I Am Himself.

So don’t just take any sort of action. Take actions based on your faith, not your presumption. Based on what God says, not on what you think He says. Based in His direction, not in any direction that seems like a ‘good option’. Put some action in your direction, and take action in His direction.

Since today is Easter, I thought I’d post something from my journal this time last year. Happy Easter everyone.

6 April 2012

It was nearly Easter and my church decided to go on a retreat during the long weekend. I wasn’t planning on going, since none of the people whom I was well acquainted with were going. But then I was told that I was part of the fundraising committee for the event, so as to be able to subsidize the student fees (apparently I have always been one who can never decline requests). Honestly, part of me was reluctant because I thought that I would be doing all this for people that I didn’t even really know, but another part of me loved participating in such things. And so the biggest part of me won––the part that made me a perfectionist, which made sure that I put in extra effort to reach the target. And so week by week our schedules were crammed with bake sales and setting up stalls in UNSW and the Glebe Markets to sell off our used clothes.

To cut things short, weeks passed and we did not reach the target. Yes, it was disappointing, considering the effort that we had put in, but I realised that it was well worth it. And I thought to myself, if I had contributed that much effort into making this thing happen then shouldn’t I be joining in on all the fun? Yes, you’re probably thinking that that was a very selfish thought, but that is the simple truth. And so I decided, I’m going to camp.

I have to say that I made the right decision joining the retreat. I got to know a lot of new people who have been so warm and welcoming, who I can now call friend. I heard empowering sermons and moving testimonials that have been reminders of the true meaning of Easter and of how great God has been in my life. I became well aware that I should always be filled with thanksgiving because of all that I have been given, after having to eat bland camp food, taking showers while wearing sandals, sleeping on dusty bunk beds in a stuffy and bug-infested room, and so forth. But I am mostly blessed because I was able to experience the greatest feeling of all. The gift of the Holy Spirit.

As far as I can remember, I had always asked God for the Holy Spirit every time there was an altar call in church ever since my mum received it. So it must have been such a long time since I first asked. 10 years. People say that when you believe and accept Christ as your Saviour, you have received the Holy Spirit, and that you don’t necessarily have to speak in tongues to prove so. But personally, what I think is that speaking in tongues is the most explicit proof there is of the Holy Spirit living in you. And so I asked. And asked. And asked again. Because I wanted to know for sure.

That night when Ps. Robby Emery called everyone who wanted to experience the Holy Spirit (including those who have experienced it but haven’t in a long time) to come to the altar, no one stood. And I was in a dilemma as to whether I should stand up and walk up front. All these thoughts were stirred up in my head and I was confused, undecided, and most of all, in doubt. The first thing that popped in my head was, if every time I asked for it, it never happened, not even once, why would it happen now? I don’t know why, but that night, my desire for it was above all else. And I decided to get up on my feet and start walking. A few people came forward as well, but I didn’t bother to look around. I was seeped into the worship that night.

The song playing was How He Loves Us by Jesus Culture and since I didn’t remember the song all that well to be able to sing along, I decided to worship in my own words, because I knew that if I was too busy keeping up with the song, I would not be able to concentrate on Him. Moments passed, and nothing happened. The sound of other people speaking in tongues echoed in my ears and I had begun crying at that time. I thought, is my faith not enough, God? You said that if I asked, and believed, I would receive, but why is it that all these years of asking, I’ve never once experienced it? I simply was upset. I was disappointed at myself. But I wasn’t ready to give it up just yet. I decided to speak. And I opened my mouth and said, Lord, I really want this. I’ve always wanted this. And I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, or how it’s going to happen. But I want to know how it feels like. I want to surrender everything to You. And even so, nothing happened. And so I got desperate. I pleaded, God, I beg you. I really, really want this.

Suddenly I felt a tingling sensation on my hands. And there was this rush of joy that started building up in me. I felt like I was superhuman, like I had super strength, and that I was just so empowered. I was just grateful, at that very moment, that I just began worshipping in my own words. And when I spoke, my throat started tickling, and I began to stutter. I stuttered and stuttered, and I knew that I wasn’t the one who was creating that vibration in my throat. It was then that I knew exactly, He is here. He is here with me.

Then I felt a gush of pain in my stomach. It felt like my acid indigestion had come back, but it wasn’t a bad kind of pain. It was the good one, if you know what I mean. When the pain came, I felt like my energy had been drenched. And so I bowed slightly. I then felt weak on the knees. And so I knelt.

I was kneeling and stuttering. And thoughts of how great God had been in my life flashed in my head and I felt like I was at peace. Tears of overjoy trickled down my cheeks and just flowed and flowed and I couldn’t stop crying. I wouldn’t stop crying.

I stayed kneeling for quite some time, and several of my church leaders gathered around me, praying for me in tongues. I hadn’t begun speaking clearly, it was merely a stammer, and in my heart, I remembered what my mum had told me in the past. And so I prayed to God: God, please, block these words that these people are saying from my ears because I want to receive this from You and You alone. I want to learn to speak in tongues from You and no one else. I know it sounds pretty mean that I did that, considering that they were praying for me. But I just didn’t want to be intimidated by their words that I made up words of my own. I wanted this to be purely from God.

After a long time kneeling, I felt the surge of energy come back to me. I felt like I was lifted up, and so I began to stand. My eyes were still shut, and I could feel that my lips were beginning to move on its own. I was unsure of what I had been saying, but I kept on speaking and speaking, and it sure felt great. The feeling was the sort that you didn’t want to ever stop. And so I didn’t want to stop.

You know when your eyes are shut but the lights had been turned on, you’d be able to still sense it anyway? Well, as I was still standing, trembling, stammering, simply drowned in His rush of grace…yes, the lights were turned on. My pastor had begun to talk on stage, and he didn’t realise that I was still standing there. Despite the want to continue on and on, I peeked, and stopped. Because I was the only one left standing on the altar. Everyone was back in their seats. Horrified, I stumbled back to my seat, mumbling “sorry, I’m so sorry,” along the way. Everyone was laughing, but they beamed at me too.

But the thing is, I could not care less about what other people thought of me that night. When all of us headed back to our cabins, my heart was still pounding like it was in turbulence. I felt all jittery and giddy, and I was burning with passion. But I was at peace, and I couldn’t stop smiling. It was the best feeling in the world, and this is the best way I can describe it. But I can assure you, it is much better than this. It is much, much better than what you can imagine.

You might think I’m such a loner, but the reason why I love being alone most times is because I get to spend my alone time with God. Being ‘lonely’ makes me run to Him, like that song Keep Making Me (<- click on this to get linked to the song!) by Sidewalk Prophets which says, ‘make me lonely, so I can be Yours. Till I want no one, more than You, Lord.” Wow. That’s all truth right there.

So that day at Tangalooma, I was kayaking alone. And as I was paddling around, here and there, I kept on singing to God. I love singing to Him.

I sang random songs, making up my own songs, and at one point I got stuck to this spontaneous song which echoes Isaiah 40:31. I sang:

Lord I will wait for You. I will have my strength renewed. I will fly up like an eagle, lift Your name up high, oh Lord, I will wait for You.

Lord I will wait for You. I will have my strength renewed. I will run and not grow weary, walk and will not faint, for Lord, I will wait for You.

I paddled my way back to the shore, too, and I ended up on dry ground before everyone else did. It was a long way and all in all I had been kayaking for over two hours. I have no idea how, but I wasn’t even tired.

Sure, I was alone on that random two-hour expedition. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have a great time. Because within those two short hours, God allowed me to feel something I otherwise would not have felt when I was with the crowd.

I looked to the horizon and saw how vast the ocean was and how I could see no end to the ever-flowing waters. I stared down and tried to picture the depths of the sea but it seemed to me like an abyss. And I realise that the width and depth of the sea cannot even compare to His love!

After I was satisfied with all that I saw, all that was left was for me to look upwards. I gazed upwards to the sky, and I felt as though my songs of praise, my worship, went straight up to the heavens.

Luke 5:16 says, “but Jesus often withdrew to a lonely place and prayed.”

And right then, I knew why Jesus often went alone. Because when I was all by myself, in the middle of nowhere, I knew for sure that He was with me. I knew that He heard me. And as I was in the middle of the sea, that very moment I knew that He was saying, wherever you are, even in desolate places, My love will surround you as this sea surrounds you right now.

That very moment, I knew He was telling me that He will always have me covered. That when things were getting out of hand back in Sydney, and I had been stressing out, He wanted me to go away to an island, deserted from everyone else, with very bad reception so that no one could contact me, so that I would be able to block all the noise out of my ears and clear my head, and finally listen to Him. To finally hear what He has been trying to tell me.

That no matter what I’m going through, He will have my strength renewed. When I wait for Him, I won’t ever faint or even grow weary or tired and will always have the strength to keep on going. To carry on. That He will be my ever-present help in troubles (Psalm 9:9). 

And so right there, right then, in the middle of nowhere, I knew that I could always run to my Strong Tower whenever I wanted to. And when I run to Him, I will be safe (Proverbs 18:10). I will be safe because my Lord covers me.

The day that I went kayaking, I went alone, while the rest went on a motorboat cause they wanted to go snorkelling, and I didn’t. I kayaked ahead of them, reached the shipwreck before they did, and while waiting for them to snorkel, I explored the sea on my own. I kayaked all the way across the other side, back to their boat, to the shipwreck, and so forth.

And one thing that I realised was this, going back to the shore was more difficult than paddling towards that shipwreck. And the reason behind that was, that the current was headed towards the direction of that shipwreck.

If you are paddling, or swimming, along the current, trust me, it is way easier, as compared to trying to go against it.

And the same goes with God.

Even when, as Christians we are to take on that cross daily, it won’t be as difficult as you think, because Matthew 11:30 says, “for My yoke is easy, and My burden light.” And the reason behind this ease to go on is this verse right here:

Isaiah 22:22 “I will place on his shoulder the key to the house of David. He shall open, and none shall shut, and he shall shut, and none shall open.”

Wow. That’s favour right there. As a matter of fact, when we decide to follow Christ, He opens doors for us that no one can close. We are given this unexplainable favour that deems us somewhat ‘lucky’ or ‘blessed’, which is actually the outcome of going with His stream.

And going back to that passage from Matthew 7, comparing rock and sand, it makes sense as well.

Because you’ve seen in the movies where girls run along the beach with wind blowing in their hair, and they make it seem so effortless, so easy. But that day, when I was dragging my kayak all the way down the beach, it was so heavy. Walking on sand is difficult, running on it, especially.

But walking on a humongous rock is like walking on cement. Like walking on normal ground. It doesn’t require you any extra effort or extra push. It’s not even second nature, it’s first nature.

So even as we have trusted that God always has something good in store, and that we have sought His Kingdom and His righteousness first, if we keep on going against what He has already set out along the way, then it’s useless.

Because trusting in God includes trusting in His timing, and provision. Seeing is believing but not seeing is faith. So trust that He has good plans. And stop going against His stream.